When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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