some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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