happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize