i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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