As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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