At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize