i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
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Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
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Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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