It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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