Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!

  (650): View more from California

  LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!

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  (415): WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!! (650): LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops! http://tfl.nu/mj23
  Replies (4) Good night (988) Bad night (805)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad

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  (716): Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad http://tfl.nu/smfo
  Replies (8) Good night (705) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon

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  (845): Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon http://tfl.nu/pdkb
  Replies (16) Good night (537) Bad night (4805) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.

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  (631): woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again. http://tfl.nu/84mk
  Replies (23) Good night (1025) Bad night (3822) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in

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  (740): this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in http://tfl.nu/i6mo
  Replies (13) Good night (3257) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes

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  (903): I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes http://tfl.nu/cr2r
  Replies (54) Good night (2664) Bad night (5910) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja

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  (250): A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja http://tfl.nu/h6o5
  Replies (30) Good night (7314) Bad night (1054)
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  (831): View more from California

  she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?

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  (831): she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/99g1
  Replies (80) Good night (14114) Bad night (2242) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.

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  (715): I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting. http://tfl.nu/jzvn
  Replies (26) Good night (5095) Bad night (1130) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.

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  (216): When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning. http://tfl.nu/aoha
  Replies (3) Good night (3766) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.

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  (530): She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth. http://tfl.nu/q63e
  Replies (10) Good night (804) Bad night (3457) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.

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  (949): I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door. http://tfl.nu/w7kk
  Replies (14) Good night (3846) Bad night (1075) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.

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  (609): She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her. http://tfl.nu/z51y
  Replies (19) Good night (2759) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.

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  (248): Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/avlt
  Replies (15) Good night (2395) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out

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  (780): Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out http://tfl.nu/hqrh
  Replies (10) Good night (302) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt

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