I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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