Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize