well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
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Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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