Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize