After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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