worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize