He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize