Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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