we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize