Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
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Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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