We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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