found the other keg... it's in the tree
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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