worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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