shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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