I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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