I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
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They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
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I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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