Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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