im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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