I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize