Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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