there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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