I wish I could punch you in the face.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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