Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Did I show you my penis last night?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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