Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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