Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize