Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize