he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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