I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize