If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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