I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize