DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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