did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
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i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
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we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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