are you so shy because you have an std?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
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she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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