Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize