girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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