Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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