How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize