You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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