Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
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It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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