I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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