Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Nicole vs. Life
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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